I Want to Make Getting Immunizations My Hobby

I drop my backpack to the floor, take off my jacket and lay it on top of the bag. I sit down in a chair, roll up my sleeve--

"Stand up, c'mon, stand up now." The nurse motions with one hand as the other holds the needle.

I look puzzled.

"Everyone takes their shot standing up," she explains.

"Really?"

I don't have any memory of my last shot, which--according to my files--was in 1993. I vaguely remember childhood doctor visits where I either lied down and exposed my tush, or sat in a chair and exposed my arm (these memories are tied to the sensation of licking lollipops). Nope, no memories of getting a shot while standing up.

I rise, abandoning the chair, feeling a bit like packed meat about to get labeled, about to get smacked by the next machine on the assembly line. The man before me had a TB test, which took two seconds, and now it was my turn for a tetanus shot. The guy behind me, also waiting for a TB test, looked on patiently enough, but his mere presence made me feel rushed.

I can't look at the nurse; she's holding the dreaded needle. She rubs my arm with a swab of cotton. She laughs. "This is not going to hurt!"

"It isn't?" I feel a tiny prick and figure the needle just entered the surface of my skin.

But: "It's over!" and "Next!"

I am such a wimp.