Ten Things I Hate in Movies/TV Shows

I haven't been too good about posting the last few days, so I stole this idea from Mr. Fett. In no order of importance:

1. Baguettes in grocery bags. This is a cliché that shows the producers think that you won't really believe someone has been grocery shopping unless food peeks out of their bags.

2. Actors who are obviously older than their characters. Example: Beverly Hills, 90210. I know show biz likes actors who look younger than they are, because those actors supposedly have more experience than their rightful-age counterparts. But we're not willing to suspend all disbelief--Luke Perry hadn't been in high school for a long, long time.

3. Reserving the cure for main characters. Example: In the 1963 version of "Jason and the Argonauts," Jason ditches his fallen comrades and only uses the Golden Fleece on Medea. Bad long term choice. Also, in "The Mummy," Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz carry a cat around to scare off the forming Mummy, but don't think to supply the Americans--those who really need protection--with a feline friend.

4. Using crazy camera angles or movement to indicate excitement when there is none. See "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" tv series (thanks to Angry Candy for pointing this out years ago). Whenever witches chant, the camera swirls around to make up for the fact that chanting will never be interesting. Also see last battle scene in "Azumi," which, fortunately, had enough good action scenes to counteract this phenomenon.

5. Last minute plot twists. Twisting last minute helps save the writer from explaining inconsistencies. Twisting at all can just insult the audience's investment in the rest of the movie. It can be done well if paced correctly ("Vertigo"), but see tv's "24." Of course, people like a lot of the movies/shows I hate: "The Usual Suspects," "The Sixth Sense," or for that matter, the entire M. Night Shyamalan catalog (just kidding; no one liked "The Village," right?).

6. The abadonment of stop motion animation in non-cartoon movies. Sure, I think "progress" is great. But Ray Harryhausen gave creatures a nightmarish quality CGI hasn't yet been able to duplicate. Perhaps it's because CGI bases motion on existing creatures?

7. Tom Cruise, the Megamoviestar. That man only furrows his brow; he can't act! I hate actors who bring too much of themselves into a role because of their public profile. They have a hard time convincing me they're Joe Blow. It's unfortunate so many things are based on money and marketability.

8. Movies that were greenlighted solely on its pitch. It's "Independence Day" meets "Fatal Attraction"! Since when did combining two shitty things yield something unshitty?

9. Character studies of boring people. As much as I like French movies, the French can be best at the kind of cinema verité that bores me to death.

10. Marketing sex when there is none. See original poster of "Star Wars" and the DVD cover of the Cantonese thriller "Infernal Affairs." As if we were all driven by sex. Christian Bale does look hot as the new Batman, though...and Ewan McGregor clones? Send me one!